On The Sexual Habits of Tamriel - Volume 1
by Scribe of Sanguine
Summary: Written in the style of an in-game book, a scholar seeking to learn more about the sexual practices of Tamriel, turns to Sanguine for insight...and finds more than he anticipated. Oneshot for now, might add more volumes later.


On the Sexual Habits of Tamriel

an unorthodox study

by Andus Callonius, Imperial Scholar

3E 427

To any curious reader who may have stumbled across this text: first, a disclaimer and explanation. The following report was originally intended as an entry for the royal Imperial Library, an in depth and scholarly look into the sexual lives, practices, and habits of Tamriel. The goal was to provide a deeper insight into the rich culture of Tamriel for scholars, historians, and for the study of culture.

In the course of our study, I took a rather unconventional course of research: I decided to consult a daedric prince. I have always been known among my fellow scholars as unorthodox and rash. Therefore, it is due to my frowned upon methods and the unscholarly nature of my encounter that I omitted this branch of my studies from the official report. However, I decided to independently publish my encounter due to the insight it may still provide, despite its crude nature. The following report was the dialogue that followed my encounter with Sanguine, Daedric Prince of debauchery, after I approached his shrine with the standard offering of Cyrodilic brandy, and posed to him the question: what can you tell me about the sexual climate of Tamriel?

Sanguine:

Ha! What can I tell you? Well my curious little mortal, quite a bit! Quite a bit indeed! But the true question is will I? You see I grow weary of scholars. So tedious and tidy and tiresome. Boring. You bunch need to learn to loosen up, enjoy yourselves! You lot need to let yourselves relax and acquire a greater appreciation for fun, flare, and fantasy!

So, mortal...will I indulge you in your endeavor for knowledge? Of course! But even you should know that Daedric Princes are never quite straightforward or direct. I will answer your question, but on my terms. We're not going to waste our valuable time discussing the dull and the drab. No! Rather, let us dive into the details, shall we? You see, mortal, that is where the fun is, that is where all the juicy exciting stories are, and after all: I am the Daedric Prince of debauchery, aren't I?

Myself:

I expected nothing less.

Sanguine:

Excellent! A mortal who isn't dull! Now, where shall we begin? Ah, yes! You wish to know about the sexual practices of the mortals of Tamriel, correct? Then let us start with the most common of all the sexual functions: orgasm! Everyone participates in the act at one point or another, and no one does it without me being aware of it. For example, in just this single moment (a disembodied sound of snapping fingers echoes from the shrine) 418 enjoyed the wonderful bliss that is an orgasm. In just that single moment! More in the seconds before, and more in the seconds after, but in just that single moment in time, 418 orgasms! Impressive, yes? Let's delve into them a bit further, shall we?

Now I won't bother to list every single one of those in detail because frankly most of them were quite boring and bland. Normal boring orgasms, no one wants to hear about that! So let me list the exciting ones that happened in that one single brief moment.

A young Breton, 17 years of age, was bathing herself in the waters of Lake Rumare. What she didn't know was that behind her, hidden behind an outcropping of rocks, was a young man. He's 17 as well, Imperial, and a longtime friend of hers. He's always found her quite attractive and followed her down to the lake to watch her bathe. Once she removed her clothes however, he undid his trousers and started playing with himself as he watched her until...boom! Orgasm! Fantastic, don't you think? How about another?

A 23 year old Bosmer woman in Daggerfall had removed all of her clothing and stood directly in front of her second story window, overlooking a relatively busy street, masturbating. She enjoys the thrill that comes with the idea of potentially being caught. This time, she was. Finally caught for the first time in her life. An older gentleman was passing by, happened to look up, and saw this woman with her fingers gliding around inside of her. The combination of shock and thrill at finally being caught sent the woman over the edge in to orgasm, and, might I add, a rather squirty one at that!

Also in that same moment, a Khajiit woman crossing the Alik'r desert was seized by a band a Redguard bandits. They stripped her of her clothing and removed their trousers, preparing to rape her. She played along, but what they didn't know was that she actually welcomed the sexual interaction and savored every thrust of the Redguard who had entered her, excitement and pleasure until the throbbing spasms of orgasm seized her and she gave a rather loud cry of ecstasy.

Or perhaps you'd like to hear about the dunmer orgy? Deep within a Sixth House base in the Bitter Coast, in Morrowind, the cult is participating in celebrating the future renewal of Morrowind by enacting one of their "new birth" rituals. Simply put: it's a large orgy. A lot of people are involved, but the one who had an orgasm in that exact moment was a 19 year old dunmer woman from Gnisis. She had been put into a trance by a Sleeper and was receiving some rather amazing oral pleasure from another dunmer: a 33 year old woman from Seyda Neen. Her orgasm was also a rather spurty one.

Then there's the two Nord boys from Dragon's Bridge in Skyrim, 16 and 18. They're both somewhat ashamed of their attraction for one another, and so ran out into the wilderness to have intimacy. They assumed a position which allowed both of them to receive and give oral pleasure simultaneously. The younger one simply could not handle the feeling of smooth tongue sliding circles around his member. After a loud long moan he arched his back and with very powerful throbbings, sent forth his deposits into his partner's mouth.

And whenever orgasms are concerned, you can't leave out those crazed and spastic followers of the Mad God. Within the walls of New Sheoth, in the city of Bliss, a very beautiful Argonian woman simply lay nude in the street, tail tucked inside the warm folds of her vagina and fingers tracing circles around her clitoris. She had a large circle of onlookers surrounding her when she succumbed to racking pleasure. She spasmed quite a bit too, might have thought that she was having a seizure if you didn't know any better. Then again, it's the Shivering Isles, so she may very well have been!

There's also the young ones in Skingrad. A young imperial girl and her partner, a young dunmer boy. 15 and 16 respectively. This one I find quite endearing! They stole away to her mother's room while her mother was out at the marketplace and began to make love on the bed. They were nervous, as this was their first time for the both of them. However, not only were they nervous, but they were also unimaginably aroused, having built up anticipation for the past few hours. So when the moment came, neither of them lasted very long. In fact, he entered her and then thrusted maybe three or four times when the both of them came together at the exact same moment! Very sweet, wouldn't you agree?

Or, in Firsthold in Summerset Isle, a couple was experimenting. Both were accomplished mages. Her: an Altmer court wizard, him: a Telvanni mage. They were both rather old in years, at least by the standards of men at roughly 220 years each. As you can imagine, at that age you begin running out of clever, creative, and new ways in which to enjoy the miracle of sex. So, they decided to try something that could have been rather dangerous and ended in death. Fortunately it didn't. He used a very, very lowly charged shock spell, just enough to provide a rather serious kick of stimulation, but not enough to actually inflict any sort of damage. It took a rather large amount of concentration on his end, but it paid off. She ended up having the most pleasurable orgasm she's had in the past 70 years!

I could go on and on! I could tell you about the Breton girl who summoned a Daedra and subsequently successfully charmed him into bedding and ravaging her. I could tell you about the dancer in Suran who puts on masturbation shows for anyone who would come and watch. I could tell you about the Orc woman who was made love to by her twin sister. I could tell you about the Imperial boy who had trained his dog to lap at his penis. Or I could tell you about Methredhel, the aspiring thief who has a nasty masturbation addiction.

****I could tell you all of this and oh so much more, but I'm sure that you are tiring of writing. And, If I'm reading you correctly, and I have no doubt that I am (I am the Daedric Lord of debauchery, after all) then it would seem that you yourself have been aroused by the tales of others' arousal. And I don't wish to keep you from your own pinnacle of pleasure, your own orgasm. So trot off and have yourself a good wank. Or if that's not enough for you, feel free to turn to my worshippers here. I'm sure that they'd be more than happy to oblige you.


End file.
